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Birthdays with Liz's Mom

Celebrate without making confetti out of your money

[April 5, 2010]

Elisabeth Hooker, STCU education outreach officer

I often find it interesting to listen in on the conversations of my peers concerning the upcoming day-of-birth milestones they are planning for their children.

Jumpy castles? Clowns? Princess prize packs complete with Cinderella costumes and Prince Charming’s glass slipper? I listen and mentally calculate the missed opportunities: a fence for the backyard, a garage door, violin lessons. Two hundred dollars that doesn’t make it to the retirement account, or to the college education fund.

Looking back on my own childhood it’s hard to remember a birthday that wasn’t adequately celebrated, or one that I recall feeling disappointed in the company of those around me. What did mom do that made me feel so celebrated, without risking my trust fund?

• With two children, my older brother set the standard, whatever he had, I had. No more, no less. Fairness was the number one rule in our house.
• While I didn’t always have a large celebration, mom made sure there was a special family dinner for my birthday every year.
• I always got to pick the cake. Some years it wasn’t cake at all, maybe a pie, or my favorite- a pile of bacon. It was my choice.
• On my ninth birthday I remember waking early to the sound of my parents giggling. I kept my eyes closed while they not-so-stealthily installed my very own phone and a radio. Those gifts were symbols of responsibility; my birthday wasn’t about stuff, but about taking the next step towards being an adult. There was no party for me that year, but it is still one of my fondest memories.
• When we did have parties, they were always creative. Often involving the assistance of the cool older teen (my brother or my cousin), who organized games, scavenger hunts, silly competitions, and craft projects.
• No need to go to Chuck E. Cheese; we made our own pizza at home.
• The menu was often themed for the birthday boy or girl, honoring a favorite color, sport, or cartoon character.
• Ever purchased an expensive toy, only to have the box it came in become the center of attention? Dad converted old refrigerator boxes into trains and play houses for HOURS of party fun.
• I don’t remember sending anyone home with stuff they didn’t need. If you have to do a goody bag, send your party guests home with memories instead of junk. I’m a huge fan of Foamies, photos and food as a take-away item.
• Mom kept gatherings short when we were young. Anything longer than a couple of hours is infringing on nap time and everyone will eventually end up cranky. 
• The guest list was never long. A good rule is to invite as many friends are your age.

Birthdays shouldn’t break the bank. Don’t try to top yourself or your kids' friends. Celebrate new milestones, getting older and wiser. Your children will appreciate you for the love you give them. If not today, maybe in the future when they realize everything you did was for them.

In the meantime, stash the cash you might have spent on the party into a certificate of deposit or STCU Money Market Account so it can begin to earn interest for the real party: Life.